At Fry Madness, we like to think of what we do as life-saving science. People need food to survive, and good food is easier to eat. That means our delicious food makes it easier to survive. See? Logic.

Much like other life-saving teams, we make our services available at all hours. In addition to being open all day, we are regularly open until two or three in the morning. Why? Because night owls need good food, too. In fact, night owls may need it more than the early birds. Why? Because night owls actually rule the world. Everybody thinks the morning glories are in charge but think about it: Batman isn’t a morning person. He gets everything done under cover of darkness. Whether he’s brooding on a gargoyle or saving a hapless Gotham citizen, he is the night, and it makes him really effective. Night owls function in the same way, running things when everyone else has fallen asleep.

In today’s blog, we’re going to share the ways that the mysterious people who Hulk out at about 11 pm actually dominate delicate morning glories. We’re running a risk by revealing their world-ruling secrets, but we figure it is time for night owls to get some credit rather than all the judgment they usually have to deal with.

Night owls find true tranquility and peace.

Here’s a wild secret to getting things done: work when you’re not going to be drowned by texts, emails, social media, and phone calls. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you don’t have the entire world tapping you on the shoulder. Night owls access a level of concentration and focus that early birds rarely achieve. As a result, night owls can burn through incredible amounts of work. They’re basically taking the express lane to achievement rather than crawling along with everyone else under hot sunlight.

Night owls can actually enjoy a social night life.

Night owls get picked on for being isolated, but they actually aren’t as hermit-like as people think. When morning people get invited to a party or other late-night event, they have to excuse themselves early in order to go to bed. They actually spend less time hanging out with others in a party atmosphere because they are too busy getting to sleep. In other words, they are lame. When you’re a night owl, your work day isn’t threatened by a happy hour or a fun party. You know that, once the party ends, you’ll still have several hours of productive time to finish your work.

Night owls don’t have to deal with meetings.

We have yet to meet anyone who just loves a day full of meetings. Meetings tend to break up workflow, and having to try to get along with Gina and Rob can just ruin your day. Night owls don’t have to attend a single meeting. They can get in the groove and stay there without being derailed by the misery of PowerPoint. Talk about a blessed life.

Speaking of blessed, you won’t fully understand the concept until you taste Fry Madness. Take one look at our menu, and you’ll understand why we’re quickly taking over Los Angeles’s gourmet fast food scene. Whether you’re craving dessert or a full meal, we deliver. The most determined sweet tooth can be vanquished with our Nutella Fries, and the deepest hungry stomach growls can be silenced with our Chicken Wing Fries. There is truly no limit to the french fry, and we have dedicated ourselves to exploring uncharted territory for your palette’s enjoyment.

Our kitchen is our laboratory, and our mission is to save mankind. Visit us today.

Read Part 2